I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize