thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
