She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
