what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Randomize
