everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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