DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
