When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You're earring is so big in my mouth
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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