Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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