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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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