You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
