If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
