Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
