Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
i think my cat just said my name.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Randomize