So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize