Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize