he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
