I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
a search helicopter?!
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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