After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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