your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
