Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
