Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
last night I used snow as a chaser
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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