Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
You smell like a Billy Joel song
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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