He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
