i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
only if we run a train.
done.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
