Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
