sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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