God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
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