You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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