I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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