Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
