Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
