I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
