she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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