Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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