And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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