But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize