Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
