it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
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