all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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