Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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