what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
