Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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