What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Randomize
