Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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