I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
