We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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