We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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