i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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