I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Are we still banned from the library?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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