it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
