Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
