we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
