I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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