Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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