I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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