you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
