Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Randomize