Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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