Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
