It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
