Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
