I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
