I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
