I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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