He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
it's great music for shaving your balls
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Randomize
